More About
I’m kind of shy but I love my friendsBorn Nov 30 in Salem, MA (witch town!)I sometimes ID with my moon sign, VirgoI’m a marine biologist and I love fish!Also voice actor, no notable work yetI'm definitely sapphic, maybe nb lesbianI think you’re all so valid and wonderfulcollege student @ Stony Brook UniversityI’m autistic but trying my best...!they/them is preferred, she/her is okayfeel free to talk to me if we’re mutuals! I love making new friends
Things To Know
I am white, able-bodied, and w/o religion so please tell me if I step out of line!I have depression, GAD, and I'm on the spectrum so please be patient with me if you canSome big triggers include Emetophobia (words included), eating, yelling, discourse of any kind, the r slur and the word “demented”.I’m really socially sensitive so replies and explanations rlly help... even in small waysI make a lot of mistakes, but I strive for self-improvement. If you have any advice/criticism for me, feel free to share directly or on anon...!
Interests
Anything marked with “•” May contain sensitive content for one or more of my mutuals, so please check in w/ me or others before engaging..!
Video Games
Fire Emblem: Three Houses •
Animal Crossing: New Horizons •
Fire Emblem Heroes
Splatoon 2
Bandori (EN/JP)
Dragalia Lost •
Magia Record •
Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon
Stariru
Persona 5 •
Ensemble Stars
Shows
Bungou Stray Dogs •
Tensei shitara Slime Datta Ken •
Gravity Falls
OK KO
MLP
Mawaru Penguindrum •
Idolish7
Boku no Hero Academia •
Mob Psycho 100
Madoka Magica •
Other
motorcycles
I Don't Want This Kind of Hero •
Pokemon
Vocaloid
Wings of Fire
Pulse •
Four Leaf
Lily Love / Lily Love 2 •
I also really love fish, cats, fencing and voice acting!
Do girls count as an interest?? H
Where am I?
If you’re wondering where I am and why you haven’t seen me, very basically I am afraid of making my friends upset and feel like the best thing to do is to let people choose if they want to be around me or not.
I have been diagnosed with Severe Generalized Anxiety, meaning I experience every type of chronic anxiety for any reason at any given time. I constantly fear losing the things I love, and questioning what I deserve. So much so to the point where I constantly question if people like me or if they’re just putting up with me out of obligation.
My anxiety has built up to the point where I am wholly convinced my friends hate me and I decide to help them by staying out of their way. At this point I assume that only the people who willingly expose themselves to me can actually stand being around me, so I gather up the people who message me first and leave everyone else alone.
Even though I really, really like spending time with everyone, if I don’t avoid the people who don’t want me around, I’ll feel like nothing but an annoyance to the people I want to be happy. That’s why I’d rather leave and let people enjoy themselves instead of bringing everyone down.
There’s a video that explains this type of anxiety really well, found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj4rtB2K00w if anyone really wants to understand what I’m going through. It mainly refers to romantic relationships in the video, but most of my friendships heavily apply as well.
If i build up enough confidence and feel like enough people I know genuinely having me around, then I will probably return. Right now though, I am so horrified of my mistakes that I feel everyone is happier without me in their lives and am preparing myself to leave indefinitely.
TL;DR: I am absolutely terrified of my loved ones leaving me that I end up leaving them first.
I definitely don’t hate anyone I know and want you all to know that I love you a lot, but I don’t want to burden you with that love.
Thank you for being around, and know it is 100% up to you if you actually want to stay friends.